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Awake the Wyatt Within/Script

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Script


[Caitlin is lounging around, customerless, at the Big Squeeze.]
Big Steve: "Caitlin!"
Caitlin: "Big Steve! I was just...thinking...of more efficient ways to...um...squeeze lemons?"
Big Steve: "Yeah, I'm on mah way to the Calgary Stampede!"
Caitlin: "Wow."
Big Steve: "Now, you take real good care of the lemon and bring sales up! And I'll have a bonus with yer name on itttyyyeah!"
Caitlin: "Really?"
Big Steve: "Yep! That's if I don't lose all my money on the Cow Lottery."
Caitlin: "The Cow...Lottery?"
Big Steve: "Yeah! They let a great, big bull loose and folks bet on where he's gonna drop his load. Ah'm real good at it! Got a real good sense for poop. Ah likes me the poop."
Caitlin: "Ew. Okay then. Have fun!"
Big Steve: "YEEEEAAAAHHHHHHOOOOOO!!!!!"
[Big Steve walks away, lugging his suitcase and waving a flag in the air.]


[The Clones are giggling about something inside the Khaki Barn. Jonesy walks up to Nikki with a paper.]
Jonesy: "Nikki, here's that info about how bacteria breeds in hot tubs and all the ways it can get into your body."
Nikki: [grabbing the sheet] "Yes."
Jonesy: "Why do you want that, anyway? It's disgusting."
Nikki: "That is exactly why I want it."
Chrissy: [on the phone] "Thanks." [She hangs up.] "Guess what? My parents said we could use the hot tub for our sleepover party. We are so hooked up!"
Kristen and Kirsten: "EEEE!" [The clones hug each other.]
The Clones: "EEEEEEE!!!"
[Nikki walks up.]
Kirsten: "Sorry Nikki, but you're not invited." [Nikki hands them the paper and turns away.] "What's this?"
Kirsten and Chrissy: "Ewww!"
The Clones: "Ahugh!" [They fall on the floor, revolted.]
Jonesy: "Nicely done."
Nikki: "Sometimes, they just make it too easy."


The opening credits roll.
The title of this episode is
Awake the Wyatt Within

[In Underground Video, Wayne is comforting a crying middle-aged woman.]
Wayne: "There you go. Now watch this a couple times and see if you don't feel better." [He hands her a DVD.] "You can rise above this. See you tomorrow." [The lady takes the movie and walks out.]
Jude: "What's wrong with her?"
Wayne: "Just got canned from her job as an ad exec., so I sent her home with Working Woman."
Jude: "The one where the chick steals her boss's job, and her boyfriend, and then gets her thrown in jail?"
Wayne: "Yep. She's gonna be alright."
[Jen and Charlie are looking at movies on the Wayne's Picks wall.]
Jen: "Want to rent How To Fix My Boyfriend In 10 Days?"
Wayne: "Sucks."
Jen: "Well, how about South American Pie?"
Wayne: "Sucks." [Jen picks up another.] "Sucks."
Jen: [annoyed] "Oh, so I guess you know exactly what movie we should watch tonight."
Wayne: "As a matter of fact, I do. I'd say you've been dating for what, two weeks?"
Charlie: "Three. How'd you know?"
Wayne: "Irrelevant. I have got just the movie for you."
Jen: "Legally Bland?"
Wayne: "The perfect film for this particular stage in your relationship. Light fare that navigates the waters of love while subtly introducing an undercurrent of commitment."
Jen: "Not bad. We'll take it!"
Jock: [walking by] "He recommended a film for us, and it totally saved our relationship."
Girl in Sweater: "Yeah. I was gonna dump him."
[Jen and Charlie leave with their movie. Wyatt walks over to his boss.]
Wyatt: "Wow. How do you do that?"
Wayne: "What can I say, man, it's a talent."
Wyatt: "Hey, can you help Serena and I get back together? I need a movie that will make her see that I'm the guy for her."
Jude: "Let it go, dude."
Wayne: "I don't do staff."
Jude: "Plus she broke up with you, and fired you..."
Wyatt: "C'mon, man, you're the only one who can help me!"
Wayne: "That's probably true, but I don't. Do. Staff."
[Wyatt sighs.]


[Caitlin is mixing a batch of lemonade when her blender grinds to a halt and stops working. Caitlin tries to get it to work again; when nothing works, she unplugs the blender and starts stabbing inside with a knife.]
Jonesy: "What are you doing?"
Caitlin: "My blender just died." [She resumes stabbing at it angrily.]
Jonesy: "Or was murdered! What's with the effort? That's not like you."
Caitlin: "Because if I'm blenderless, I won't get my bonus, and I'll never get that cute camisole I picked out!"
Jonesy: "Ah, that's more like it. If I come up with anything I'll let you know." [He moves on.]
Caitlin: "Thanks." [She stabs the blender again, and it spits sparks.]


[Jen is dreamily watching her boyfriend tape up a hockey stick.]
Jen: "You're good at taping sticks."
Coach Halder: "Masterson! I know that look! That's love on the job! Drop and give me fifty."
Jen: "Yes Coach." [She drops and starts.]
Coach Halder: "I hope for your sake you can do fifty."
Jen: [straining] "Love–will–make–me–strong."
Coach Halder: "Another fifty! For saying the word love."
Jen: "You just said it."
Coach Halder: "Darn it! You're right. Fifty for me too." [doing push-ups] "Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup–feels good. Hup, hup–"


[Wyatt checks out a movie for Jason and Joanie.]
Wyatt: "Let me guess. Wayne here recommended a life-changing movie to you two."
Jason and Joanie: "Mmm-hmm!" [They leave.]
Wyatt: "Don't choke on each other's tongue!"
Wayne: "What flew up your butt?"
Wyatt: "Nothing. Except that you could save me from a lifetime of loneliness by telling me what movie to watch."
Wayne: "Tell you what, I'll give you free air guitar lessons."
Wyatt: "C'mon, man, you have some freaky video superpower!"
Wayne: "True."
Wyatt: "And you could use it to help me get my girl back! Unless you think you couldn't come up with anything."
Wayne: "Heh. A weak attempt at challenging my movie manhood."
[Wyatt raises an eyebrow.]
Wayne: "Alright, fine. I'll bite."
Wyatt: "Really? All right!" [He does a small victory dance.]
Wayne: "Whatever. Jude! JUDE!"
Jude: "I'm coming, I'm coming!" [He races up to the counter.] "Don't leave me in here overnight again."
Wayne: "We're not closing. I want you to grab a video for Pathetico over here. Video number...01685."
[Jude nods and runs off.]
Wyatt: "Oh yeah. I'm feeling better already."
[Jude runs back with a video, and Wayne gives it to Wyatt.]
Wayne: "This'll help you. Now leave me alone."


[Nikki and Jonesy are hanging out while Caitlin tries to find a way to work without a blender.]
Nikki: "So what's it like being a waiter at El Sporto's?"
Jonesy: "Enh, okay. Nothing special."
Nikki: "Maybe I'll come by for lunch."
Jonesy: "No! I mean, you're better off in the food court."
Nikki: "Well, what sports uniform do they make you wear?"
Jonesy: "Not important." [They take a sip of their drink.]
Nikki and Jonesy: "Euch!"
Jonesy: "This is one bad lemonade."
Caitlin: "My blender died, so I had to get creative." [She starts smashing them with a mallet.]
Wyatt: "Ahem." [He holds up his movie.] "This movie, my friends, is gonna solve all my problems with Serena."
Jonesy: "Are you talking about Serena Serena?"
Nikki: "As in, you're fired and I never want to see you again Serena?"
Wyatt: "C'mon, guys. I think it'll give us some valuable insights. Watch it with me and tell me what you think?"
Nikki: "Sure, why not? I'll call Jen." [She dials.]
Jen: [answering, still doing push-ups] "Sure. A movie sounds good. We'll be there." [She hangs up with her nose. Charlie walks up to her.] "Hey. Wanna hang with my friends tonight?"
Coach Halder: "Masterson! Give me another fifty! Pronto!"
Charlie: [whispering] "Coach Halder told me to take lunch now. Guess I'll see you later?"
[Jen grins, and they wink at each other. Charlie leaves.]
Jen: "Can't–feel my–arms–" [Her strength gives out, and she collapses.]
Nikki: "Jen's in. I'll meet you there."
Jonesy: "'Kay." [A girl in a dress walks past.] "You know, you'd look really good in a dress like that."
Nikki: [offended] "Oh, so what I'm wearing isn't nice enough for you?"
Wyatt: "Uh oh." [He vacates the area.]
Jonesy: "No! I mean yes! It is! I–"
Nikki: "So what, now that we're like dating, it's okay for you to tell me what to wear? Nice." [She leaves.]
Jonesy: "Wait, I was giving you a compliment! Aww..."
[Caitlin purses her lips and turns to her customer.]
Caitlin: "Lemon smoothie, coming up." [She begins mashing lemons, some of which land in front of Jonesy.]
Jonesy: [picking up a smashed lemon] "I know how you feel, little buddy."


[The gang and Charlie are watching the movie. Jonesy puts an arm around Nikki, and she elbows him.]
Jonesy: "Oof!"
Jude: "Aren't there any chicks under thirty in this flick?"
Wyatt: "I don't know."
Jen: "Ssh! This is a good part."


[By the end of the film, Jonesy and Jude have become distracted. Nikki elbows Jonesy, and he wakes.]
Jonesy: "What?"
[The girls all have tears in their eyes.]
Caitlin: "That was so cute."
Charlie: "Those old ladies worked so hard on that garden."
Jen: "And did you see how cute they were in their matching flower hats?"
Jonesy: "The only thing more boring than watching old people is watching old people gardening."
Wyatt: "So what do you think it means for Serena and me?"
Nikki: "That's easy. Nothing."
Jonesy: "I think it means you're really boring."


[Jen is at work when Charlie runs up to her.]
Charlie: "Wanna go to the Junior Dance with me next week?"
Jen: [giggling] "Sure."
Coach Halder: "MASTERSON!"
Jen: [tired] "I know." [She gets down and starts doing push-ups.]
Coach Halder: "You're skating on thin ice, Masterson! That's six hundred push-ups this week alone!" [He pats Charlie's shoulder.] "Good work, Dobbs."
Jen: [grunting] "How come–you never–get busted?"
Charlie: "I dunno, honey. Guess I'm just lucky. I'll see you later." [He walks off.]
Jen: [to herself] "Hey honey, there's no strength left in my upper body!" [Stanley shoots her, and she collapses.] "Guh!"


[Caitlin, Charlie, Jen, Jude, Nikki, and Wyatt have gathered at a booth in El Sporto's.]
Charlie: [telling a story] "...and they say Coach Halder's groin has never been the same since." [Everyone laughs.]
Jen: "Too bad Jonesy has to work tonight. Where is he? I'm starving."
Wyatt: [holding back laughter] "There he is. In a skirt."
[Jonesy's uniform seems to consist of a kilt and cleats as well as his normal shirt.]
Jonesy: "It's a kilt."
Nikki: "Oh." [She laughs.] "Wow. You look really good in that. But you know what would look even better? A blue sundress."
Jonesy: "Oh ha ha! Everyone has to wear a sports outfit here, remember?"
Jen: "What sport are you supposed to be?"
Jonesy: [embarrassed] "Field hockey." [Everyone laughs.] "All the guys' sports were taken."
Nikki: [laughing] "Except for cross-country dressing!" [Everyone laughs.]
Jonesy: [fed up] "Do you guys want to order or what?"
Charlie: "Uh, do you have chicken legs?"
[The table looks at Jonesy's legs and laughs.]
Nikki: "Well done." [She hi-fives Charlie.]


[Wyatt is watching the movie again. Wayne walks in.]
Wyatt: "Wayne, what is the point of this movie you gave me to watch?"
Wayne: "Dude, if I tell you, you won't learn anything. Plus I'm busy."
Wyatt: "But it doesn't make any sense!"
Wayne: "If you can't figure it out then you don't deserve to have titles on the staff picks shelf." [He starts to remove Wyatt's picks.]
Wyatt: "No! Okay. I'll figure it out."
[Jude enters.]
Jude: "I have a new staff pick!"
Wayne: "Plenty of room up there now. What is it?"
Jude: "Radical Pool Party 2!"
[Wayne looks at him and then grins snarkily.]
Wayne: "I want you to think about what you just said." [He moves on with Wyatt's picks.]
Jude: "Hmm..." [He concentrates.]


[Caitlin is trying to squish lemons into the blender.]
Caitlin: "Okay, this is hopeless! I'll never get my bonus!"
Jude: [lugging in a huge fan] "Your blending troubles are over!"
Caitlin: "They are?"
Jude: "Check it out!" [He sets the fan down and turns it on.] "Who needs a blender when you've got an industrial fan!" [He pulls the protective grating off of the fan.]
[Jude grabs a bowl of lemons and pours them in. He, Jen, and Caitlin watch interestedly as the fan grinds them–and then spits out a huge shower of lemon juice all over the trio.]
Jen: [unhappy] "Nice work, Jude."


[The gang are sitting around the table.]
Wyatt: "So now that you've had some time, what do you think that movie means?"
Nikki: "Still nothing."
Caitlin: "I think it means you and Serena were meant to be together forever."
Jen: "You know what? That's it!"
Caitlin: "You have to tell her."
Nikki: "Hold on. Wyatt, it's just a movie."
Wyatt: "Yeah, but you don't know the power of Wayne."
Jude: "The man does give sick advice."
Nikki: "This is crazy! She broke up with you!"
Caitlin: "The movie gods have spoken."
Jen: "You've got to win Serena back!"
Nikki: "What?"
Wyatt: "You're right." [He stands up.] "I'm going to do this."
[Nikki clasps her head in her hand as Wyatt runs off.]


[Everyone in the mall is going about their business as usual when the PA crackles and Wyatt's voice is heard.]
Wyatt: "Attention everyone! This is a message for Serena at Spin This." [Serena gasps, horrified.] "Serena! It's Wyatt. I know you're here today, because I saw you stacking the new releases."
Nerd Girl: "Stalker." [Her friend nods.]
Wyatt: "I can't stop thinking about you. I really want you to give me one more chance." [Serena gulps.] "I'll wait for an answer." [after a beat] "As long as it takes." [a few seconds later] "All I need is a yes." [Serena facepalms.] "Or a no." [a bit later] "If you could just, y'know, shout out an answer!" [realizing he's being ignored] "I'll just wait here and listen." [giving up] "Uh. Oh. Okay. Um, that's it I guess."
Nikki: [unhappy] "They never listen."


[Jen is trying to set up a mountain-climbing display.]
Coach Halder: "What's taking so long with that display, Masterson?!?"
Jen: "Sorry, Coach. My arms are so tired." [She loses her balance.] "WHOOOAAAA!"
[Jen falls to the ground. Part of the display falls down as well.]
Charlie: "You okay, honey?"
Jen: "No, I'm not okay. I've done like seven hundred stupid push-ups for you. My arms are noodles."
Charlie: "Cute noodles."
Jen: "Noodles aren't cute! They're soft. And droopy. How come you don't do any push-ups?"
Charlie: "Uh, why would I do them if he didn't make me?"
Jen: "I don't know, because you're a guy and you should act like a man?"
Charlie: "Jen, you know I have baseball tryouts coming up. I can't be overworking my arms for no reason."
Jen: [simmering] "No. Reason?"
Coach Halder: "Oh Dobbs! Could you come over here and show me that swing of yours?"
Charlie: "Yes Coach!"
[Charlie walks off. Alone, Jen grits her teeth.]


[Several lemons are lined up on the edge of the Big Squeeze. Suddenly, the lid slams forward and shut on them, smashing them. Caitlin collects the dripping juice in a blender.]
Nikki: "That's an interesting technique."
Caitlin: "And surprisingly dangerous."
[Jen walks up, looking down.]
Caitlin: "Hey Jen! Nikki and I were thinking of inviting Charlie to our movie night. You know, since he's sort of part of the gang now."
Jen: "Part of the gang?"
Nikki: "Sure. We all agreed he's in. The guy brings the funny."
Jen: "Do you know what he puts on his hot dogs? Nothing. It's just a wiener and a bun. And that's it. And that laugh! It's so annoying. Do you know he calls me honey? 'Honey, do the push-ups for us! Honey, I have baseball tryouts!'"
Caitlin: "Ooh! Wish him luck for me!"
Jen: "AAAAAHHHH!!!"
[Jen slams her head against the table. Wyatt walks up.]
Nikki: "How you doing?"
Wyatt: [sarcastic] "Great. Never felt better."
Caitlin: "I know what will make you feel better! An orange mocha Stimu-latte."
[Wyatt raises an eyebrow, interested.]


[Wyatt and the girls are at Grind Me.]
Jen: "Hurry up, Caitlin, he's almost finished his last one!"
Nikki: "Uh, don't you think you've had enough?"
[Wyatt finishes his coffee. By now, he's had four of them and is shaking from caffeine overload.]
Caitlin: "No." [She hands Wyatt a fifth coffee.] "Drink this. It'll help dull the sting of rejection."
Jen: "Feeling better, Wyatt?"
Wyatt: [with a manic grin] "I dunno. I am more...twitchy."
Caitlin: "That's a good sign! Okay. I've got to get back to the Lemon. Continue Stimu-latte consumption until he's no longer thinking of you-know who."
[Caitlin's remark instantly brings Wyatt down off of his caffeine high.]
Jen: "Drink, Wyatt, drink!"


[Caitlin is angrily shaking her blender when Jonesy walks up awkwardly in his kilt.]
Caitlin: "Jonesy! Did you get my message?"
Jonesy: "What do you think I've got under my kilt?"
[Caitlin looks at it, flabbergasted. Jonesy reaches inside and pulls out several canisters of lemon drink.]
Jonesy: "You know it."
Caitlin: "Jonesy, this is perfect!" [She hugs him.]
Jonesy: "I better get back. They don't know I'm gone."
Caitlin: "Okay. Thanks again."
Jonesy: "Later."


[At the Penalty Box, Jen calls Caitlin.]
Caitlin: "Hi!"
Jen: "Hey. Have you ever noticed that Charlie's hair isn't cut straight?"
Caitlin: "Uh oh. I'll be right there."


[Jen is angrily watching Charlie work when Caitlin walks in and comes up to her.]
Caitlin: "What happened? You've never complained about his hair before."
Jen: "I've decided it's actually his head. It's too big." [Caitlin looks at her oddly.] "And whenever he lifts something heavy, he gets this giant purple vein in his neck. I think I'm just gonna have to let him go."
Caitlin: "Look, Charlie's a great catch. He's cute, and he cried during Life's Little Wrinkles. In the guys, love that. Plus, his head's not really that big. What's the matter with your arms?" [She picks one up and lets it fall. Jen's arm pendulums until it stops.] "Hmm. You should look after that. See ya!"
[Caitlin leaves. Jen moans to herself.]


[Wyatt is watching the movie again while drinking coffee.]
Wyatt: "I'm missing something here. What are you trying to tell me?"
Jude: "Why don't you should ask those old dudes? They've probably seen it." [He points to an old couple outside.]
Wyatt: "Good idea, ask the old people!" [He runs out, but stops and goes back in.] "Great idea!"
[Wyatt leaves again. Jude stares after him, stunned.]
Jude: "Dude?"


[Nikki is drinking lemonade when Jonesy arrives with a new shipment. He takes it out.]
Jonesy: "Hello, ladies."
Caitlin: "Hey Jonesy. Thanks!"
Jonesy: "No worries. No one at the restaurant likes it anyways."
Nikki: "You mean–this lemonade was once up Jonesy's skirt?"
[Another man, hearing this, spits out his mouthful of lemonade.]
Nikki: "Yeah. Good call."
Jonesy: "Caitlin, why don't you remind Nikki what a great guy I am, sneaking you cans of lemonade to save your hide."
Caitlin: "Don't put me in the middle of this! You did commit a serious mistake of the new boyfriend code."
Jonesy: "What?!?"
Nikki: "You told me to change my clothes."
Jonesy: "No-I-I was just–gah! Are all girls this difficult?"
Nikki: "Just the ones with brains."
Jonesy: "Okay. Fine. I'm taking these back." [He steals the lemonade cans from Caitlin and leaves.]
Nikki: "Sorry I lost you your gross skirt lemonade."
Caitlin: "That's okay. Nothing overrides a girl's right to her own fashion."


[Wyatt and Jude are polling old people about what the movie was about.]
Wyatt: "So you think the movie was about planting tulips? Wow. Not exactly the insight I was looking for."
[His next victims are an old couple in the middle of the mall.]
Wyatt: "So, my question is, does gardening have anything to do with being together?" [The old man holds up an ear trumpet.] "What is your secret on being together for so long!?!"
Old Man: "Nothing better ever came along." [His wife starts hitting him with her handbag.] "Ooh! Wendy!"
[Wyatt and Jude move on to the fountain. This time, Jude asks the question.]
Jude: "So, uh, do you dig old chicks?"
[The old man angrily smacks Jude with his cane. Jude goes back to Wyatt.]
Jude: "I don't think this is working."
Wyatt: "We need a new plan."
Jude: "Right. Like what?"
Wyatt: "Hmm..." [He gets an idea.] "Disguise yourself as a woman, and ask Wayne to explain the movie!"
Jude: "Aw, man! I always have to dress up like the chick!"


[Wayne is watching a movie when a voice draws his attention.]
Old Lady Jude: "Excuse me?"
Wayne: [looking over] "Gah!"
[Jude is wearing a wig seemingly made of Brillo pads and some blush.]
Old Lady Jude: "I watched Life's Little Wrinkles the other day, and I was wondering..."
Wayne: "Yeah?"
Old Lady Jude: "What's the message of the movie?"
Wayne: "Well, I'd tell you–if you weren't a guy dressed as an old woman! What is with you, dude?!?"
Wyatt: "It's my fault. I can't figure out what Life's Little Wrinkles was supposed to mean! What the heck kind of recommendation was that anyway?!?"
Wayne: "W-what are you talking about?"
Wyatt: "The movie you gave me!"
Wayne: "That wasn't the movie you were supposed to watch!"
Wyatt: "It wasn't?"
Wayne: "No! Why would I tell you to watch that chick flick?"
Wyatt: "Then why'd you give it to me!!!"
Wayne: "I didn't!!! But I have a feeling I know what happened!!!" [He gives Jude an angry look, then walks off. He comes back with a new movie.] "This is the movie you were supposed to watch. Dumping Amy. You gave him the wrong movie, dude."
Jude: "Ooohhhh."
Wyatt: [looking at Jude] "This is all your fault?" [Jude gulps.] "I watched that thing twelve times because of you?"
Jude: "All the boxes looked the same!" [Wyatt angrily hangs the wig over Jude's face.]


Jen: "Did you ever think fries are better than boys?"
Nikki: "All the time."
[Nikki is feeding herself and Jen fries. Jen's phone rings.]
Jen: "Can you see who it is? I can't lift up the phone."
Nikki: "It's Charlie."
Jen: "Uuch. Let it ring."
Nikki: "You're dumping him, aren't you? And I was just starting to like him."
Jen: "And I'm just starting to get feeling back in my arms!"
[A familiar yell echoes through the food court.]
Big Steve: "YAAAAAHHOOOO!!!"
Caitlin: [shocked] "It's Big Steve! Quick! Where can I hide the busted blender?"
Nikki: "Just play it cool, Caitlin."
[Big Steve walks up to his store.]
Big Steve: "Ahm back! How's the ranch?"
Caitlin: "Um, eeh...okay."
Big Steve: [tossing two lemons into the blender] "I'm gonna rustle me up a lemon smoothie, hope you don't mind!"
Caitlin: "Mind? No. I-I don't mind."
[Caitlin shuts her eyes as Big Steve tries to turn on the blender.]
Big Steve: "Ah, blast! Think I busted a blender! Oh well."
Caitlin: "Oh well? You mean you're not mad?"
Big Steve: "Heck no! These things only live so long. We were long overdue. I'll pick one up tomorrow."
Caitlin: "Great!"
Big Steve: "Heck, here's that bonus I promised you." [He hands over a check.]
Caitlin: "Thanks Big Steve!" [Big Steve leaves.] "EEE!"
[Jen and Nikki give Caitlin a thumbs-up.]
Nikki: "Uh oh."
[Charlie Dobbs walks up to the table.]
Charlie: "I thought I might find you here."
Jen: [rolling her eyes] "Yep. Here I am." [She looks back at Charlie and gasps. Charlie has transformed into a caricature encompassing everything she hates about him.]
Charlie: "Is your phone off? I just tried calling you, honey." [Jen shakes her head, and Charlie goes back to normal.]
Jen: "No. It's on. But I couldn't pick it up because my arms are like two giant pieces of linguini!"
Charlie: "Speaking of which, I should eat a big meal. Baseball tryouts are tomorrow. I need the energy."
Jen: "AAAAAHHH! That's it! No more push-ups and no more big giant head! We're so over."
[Charlie gapes.]
Nikki: "Better hit the road there, sport. When she regains the use of her arms, she'll come back swinging."
[Charlie puts his hands up and leaves.]


[The gang are gathered around the table.]
Wyatt: "So, who wants to watch Dumping Amy with me tonight?"
Jen: "Oh..."
Caitlin: "I can't."
Jonesy: "Nope."
Jude: "Sorry, dude."
Nikki: "I'm busy."
Wyatt: "Oh, come on, guys. Charlie can come too."
Jen: "No he can't. I dumped him."
Jonesy: [surprised] "Dumped as in dumped?"
Jen: "Yes, dumped like a gym bag of sweaty old gym socks dumped!"
Jude: "Whoa. But he was so funny."
Jonesy: "I'm really gonna miss that guy. Even though he made fun of my chicken legs."
Caitlin: "Hey, yeah! Where's your skirt?"
Jonesy: "It was a kilt. And I got fired. I accidentally walked over a floor vent."
[Jonesy's friends stare at him uncomprehendingly.]
Jonesy: "What? How was I supposed to know I couldn't go commando?"
Jen: "That is just...ew."
Jonesy: "Enough work talk." [He sets a gift-wrapped box in front of Nikki.]
Nikki: "What's this?"
Jonesy: "It's for you. Something nice that you'd look really good in."
[The gang gasps, then awws in approval. Jonesy has given Nikki another shirt identical to the one she has on.]
Nikki: "Thanks, Jonesy. You know, you're not so bad after all. For a guy. In a skirt." [She kisses him.]
Jonesy: "Woohoo! Talking to me again. You know it." [dancing] "OH YEAH!"
Jen: "At this point, I'd take the fries any day."

Season 2 Scripts
Going UndergroundDeadbeat Poets SocietyCareer DayFish and Make UpAwake the Wyatt WithinUnhappy AnniversaryPillow TalkIn a Retail Wonderland...Midnight MadnessWelcome to the Darth SideThe New GuyMajor UnfaithfulnessWaiting to Ex-SaleLosing Your LemonThe HuntedLights OutA Ding from Down UnderThe Wedding DestroyersThe Lords of MalltownJonesy's Low MojoSmarten UpDirty WorkOver ExposedA Crime of FashionSpring FlingGirlie BoysSnow Job
Seasons: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4Hour-Long Specials
See also: Episode Guide

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