The Greeter Gods and Goddesses are the employees of Albatross & Finch. The men's uniform consists of them going shirtless (showing off their perfect upper bodies) and wearing cargo pants. The Goddesses all wear tube tops and short skirts.
Interestingly, one of the instructions is not to help the customers. When Jonesy was hired, he initially committed a faux pas by actually helping one of them out. For this, he was reprimanded, and once he learned he was not supposed to help, he stated that he loved the job. Later in the episode, however, he intentionally got fired. He did this because the Goddesses were taking the "don't help" ethos to extremes and picking on Caitlin, who was trying to buy their uniform. (It didn't help that Caitlin had failed the interview for the job earlier.) When Jonesy saw how mean his co-workers were, he immediately began misbehaving (by behaving exactly like the models in their catalogues do) and was fired from the store.
The Greeter Gods are attractive, muscular men that work at Albatross & Finch. They are shirtless, and are usually wearing black, gray or olive shorts. The Albatross & Finch work ethic is that they never help or acknowledge the presence of their customers. They are known to be stuck up and rude. Caitlin and Jen have tried to attract Greeter Gods but most of them turn the girls down, claiming that it's an "image thing."
The Greeter Goddesses are the attractive, self-absorbed, modelesque young women who work at Albatross & Finch. They are the female counterparts to the Greeter Gods. However, they (much like their male counterparts) do not actually do anything. They are literally paid to stand there, look attractive, do nothing, and belittle customers they deem as "unworthy". At one point, Caitlin was desperate to join as a Greeter Goddess. However, at her interview, she was far too eager, and was ruthlessly rejected in favor of Jonesy. The Greeter Goddesses later try to belittle and humiliate Caitlin after they discover her attempting to buy a red tube top and denim skirt (the official A&F Greeter Goddess uniform), but Jonesy stood up for Caitlin and took a stand against his fellow employees by mooning the stuck-up Greeters.
- Most of the Greeter Gods look identical to each other in terms of body, face, and haircut; the only difference is hair color. The Greeter Goddesses all look different, meanwhile, with the only constant between them being that they are all attractive. The only times that a Greeter God has been given a different appearance has been when he was important to a plot.
- The only Greeter Gods that have been named and been important to a plot are Benj and Hunter. They also look different than the other Greeter Gods.
- The only Greeter Goddess who has been named is Jill, a black-haired girl.
- The Greeter Goddesses speak with Valley Girl accents. Their words also come out in a flat monotone.
- Jill was first seen in "The Fake Date." Here, she appeared as Charlie Dobbs' girlfriend. It was only in "The Birthday Boy" that she was shown as a Greeter Goddess.