It's Always Courtney, Courtney, Courtney! is the 24th episode of 6teen and the 24th episode of the first season, which aired on June 22, 2005 in Canada on Teletoon and remains unaired in the United States.
Courtney, Jen's "cooler, prettier, everybody-loves-her-more" sister is back from university, and like Jen predicts, she immediately wins over all of Jen's friends, leaving Jen out in the cold.
Nikki, Wyatt, and Caitlin are sitting at a booth at El Sporto's sharing a large platter of nachos, when Jen comes up and starts snarfing down nachos, her body language hinting stress. When they question her about it, she tells them that her sister, Courtney, is back for the week. Wyatt reminds Caitlin that Courtney is Jen's older sister. This sets Jen off, and makes her reveal that Courtney is older, prettier, and more popular. Caitlin asks why she's never met her; Jen says that she's been away at university. Nikki notes that she usually goes skiing for Spring Break, which Jen explains that apparently, all her "fabulous" friends with ski chalets are sick, so she's coming home, and in Jen's opinion, to ruin her life. Jude and Jonesy then rush in and hide under the table. Ron appears and stops by it. He has shoe polish on the side of his face; Jude and Jonesy had pranked his walkie talkie. After some brief questioning of the gang, he is convinced that they aren't there, and leaves.
Later, Jen is talking about how Courtney makes her crazy, and Jonesy learns that Courtney's back in town. He, Jude, and Wyatt then reflect on their memories of her, often having asked their parents to hire her for babysitting. Jen then states that she'll just have to get used to having no friends when her sister's around, but Caitlin and Nikki comfort her, saying they'll always be best friends. Jonesy then chips in, saying that the boys will be her friends no matter what. This promise is easily broken when Courtney, appears, however.
The party has moved to the food court, and Courtney is introducing herself to the gang. The boys are all enraptured with her beauty, but the girls are not so easy to please. Courtney immediately starts in irritating her sister, calling her "Flash". The gang is curious about the story behind it but Jen refuses to let Courtney tell. Jonesy then realizes he's going to be late for work and he herds the guys off so they can see what his new job is. Jen says she has to leave, and Courtney asks Caitlin and Nikki if they'd like to hang out. Nikki says that she hears the clones calling, and that cues Courtney to mention that she used to work at the Khaki Barn as well. Nikki then leaves, and Courtney is alone with Caitlin.
Nikki has caught up with with Jen. Jen complains that Courtney always steals her friends, but Nikki restates that she'll always be loyal to Jen. The two part ways as they head off for work.
Jonesy's new gig is at a photo studio called Glitter Shots, which has costumes so customers can dress up for photos. Jude and Wyatt are playing with some of the costumes, and Jonesy asks them to stop so they can talk about how hot Jen's sister is. They discuss it and ruminate on how they've all become men of the world. Suddenly, Jonesy's phone goes off, and he mentions that it's Lydia. He then states that she's hot but way too clingy, and as such he's quit answering his phone. At that moment, the store's phone rings. He picks it up, and it turns out to be Lydia. He speaks to her, sounding slightly scared. A few seconds later, she appears at the studio. She says she'd like to spend more time with him, but he is saved by his friends, who are pretending to be a married couple waiting for Jonesy to take their picture. He says that he really has to get back to work, and Lydia kisses him before she leaves. Jonesy thanks his friends for their help.
Jen finishes making a sale at the Penalty Box, and Coach Halder compliments her, saying she set a new sales record. Her sister and Caitlin then arrive, and Caitlin states that Courtney is really cool. Courtney then compliments Caitlin's fashion sense, and Jen notes that it's all happening again. Courtney then proceeds to insult Jen's job and brag about herself before she suggests that they hit the Khaki Barn. Caitlin agrees before she realizes it might hurt Jen's feelings, and asks Jen if she should hang back. Jen says that Caitlin should go ahead and go, but after her friend leaves, she takes out her anger on a basketball hoop.
Jude and Pokey the Panda are behind the desk at the photo studio. Lydia is talking to them about Jonesy. Jude says that Jonesy has gone out and doesn't know when he'll be back. Lydia gives Jude a gift for Jonesy: an anatomically correct sculpture of her heart. She would have sculpted a model of her soul too, but that doesn't show up in MRIs. She then leaves, and Pokey takes off his head, revealing Jonesy. Jude remarks that Jonesy is dating one really weird chick.
Meanwhile, Caitlin and Courtney make their way to the Khaki Barn. Caitlin sees that the new hoodies are in and rushes off to claim one. Courtney, meanwhile, charms her way into Nikki's heart by stating that she's working from within to change things. Courtney then invites them to share some coffee with her.
At Grind Me, Jen's friends are listening to Courtney tells stories about Jen's embarrassing moments. Jen arrives, and the gang immediately begins to crack wise at her expense. Jen realizes that things are spiraling out of control, but there is nothing she can do. Courtney asks about Jonesy's sombrero-and-mustache disguise, but the information is provided when Lydia shows up bearing an abstract painting of Jonesy. Courtney tells her that Jonesy was looking for her at the arcade, and Lydia leaves. Jonesy asks how he can repay Courtney, and Courtney suggests that they all get their pictures taken at Jonesy's store. The gang all agree to do that, and they head out, Jen still stating that she knew this would happen.
Courtney is arranging the photo. She states that she'll be the warrior queen, Jude and Jonesy will be her war chiefs, Nikki will be her sidekick, Wyatt will be her scribe, and Caitlin will be the princess. Jen is, predictably, the evil swamp hag. Jen initially refuses, but Courtney manages to make her look like a baby for declining, and so Jen eventually angrily wears the costume.
Later, the gang are admiring the photo. They all note that the look on Jen's face is fantastic, as she looks like she really wants to kill Queen Courtney. Courtney then suggests that they go to X-S, a new dance club. Jude heard that the bouncers are all 6-foot-4 ex-wrestlers, and Jen points out that none of them have ID, as they're sixteen. Courtney then says that she'll show them a little trick.
What follows is a photo-taking session, where the gang all get headshots. After Courtney has taken pictures of all six, she prints them out as ID cards and tells them that they're now all officially twenty-one. The gang compliments her, but Jude asks what happens if they get caught. Courtney deflects this by saying she thought Jude was the chilled out one. She then says they should go shake some booty, and the teens, minus Jen, cheer and walk towards the club. Courtney moves to follow, but Jen holds her back and says her friends could get into real trouble. Courtney ignores her, and when pressed by Jen, simply states that Jen is jealous the gang likes her more.
At the club, the group is worried when they see an ID-less teenager get tossed into a trash can by a bouncer. They reconsider going, but Jonesy decides to go in. He walks up to the bouncer and holds up his ID. The bouncer looks it over and allows Jonesy in. Once inside, he waves to his friends to follow him. Someone watches through binoculars as the teens walk into the club. Revealed to be Ron hidden behind a large planter, he lowers his binoculars and states that he now has the teens right where he wants them.
Inside the club, the teens are enjoying it, with Jude saying that the place is awesome and Wyatt enjoying the sound system.
Outside, the bouncer is getting rid of Darth when Jen walks up, flashes her ID, and walks in.
The gang asks Courtney where Jen is, and Courtney says she's probably at home with their mom. Drawing the attention of everyone she passes, Jen walks up to them and the gang takes in her new look. Jen is dressed to the nines in a party dress, strappy heels and her hair done up. The gang admires it while Courtney sounds a bit jealous, pointing out that it's her dress. Jen then shows how fun she is, dancing happily as her friends cheer her on. Everything is going well until the straps of her dress come undone, exposing her breasts. A gasp rises from the club, but Jen doesn't notice. After a few seconds, Caitlin gingerly tells her that the dress is "kind of not there". Jen looks down, sees her exposed body, and runs screaming into the bathroom. Caitlin expresses sympathy, but Courtney just laughs at her sister's debacle. Caitlin then asks her how she can be so mean, and Courtney just states that it was funny. The glamour of Jen's sister begins to wear off, and Nikki states that she's going to go see if Jen is okay. She walks towards the restroom and into Ron, who arrests them. Courtney, knowing she can save herself, claims that she's not with them and shows the rent-a-cop her real ID and leaves the gang in the lurch. The gang is escorted off to mall jail. Just after Ron leaves, Jen comes back, dress intact, and asks Courtney what happened and how she could do that to the others. Courtney merely states that the others are technically Jen's friends and not her friends. But Jen, having none of this, just grabs Courtney by the arm and drags her away, stating "Oh no, they're our friends now!"
Jen's then shown dragging her sister through the mall, lecturing her about what being a true friend really means. Courtney then sarcastically mutters that's just like Jen – always Mom and Dad's "little star." Jen's surprised to hear this, and claims that all their parents do is talk about how proud they are of Courtney: winning a beauty pageant, going to the university...the list goes on and on--but Courtney bluntly states that's all about to change before looking down with a sad look on her face. When Jen expresses confusion at what Courtney said, her sister reveals that she got kicked out of school (presumably due to flunking her classes), which is the real reason why she's back home for spring break. Jen's surprised, but also happy, to hear this, because it means that her sister's not as perfect as everyone always thought. Courtney then points out that she was never "the perfect one," and reveals that she's always been secretly jealous of Jen, who's the true "perfect one": she works hard, has good friends, and is the one their parents are actually proud of. Jen forgives Courtney, and they become friends again. After they hug, Jen points out that the gang is still in mall jail, and wonders what to do to get them out. Courtney enigmatically states "I always have a backup plan."
The gang is locked up in mall jail. Jude says that the lockup is harshing his mellow, and Jonesy demands his phone call. Ron states that he won't be getting a phone call until he's officially under arrest, and that he's going to savor the moments the gang is his. Just as he's starting to get into the savoring, Jen taps him on the shoulder and tells him that they've come to get their friends. Ron is about to refuse when he sees what Jen is holding. Jen has with her a picture of Ron wearing a mankini. Courtney asks Jonesy if that should be the store's promo poster, and Jonesy replies in the affirmative as he catches on to the plan. Ron gets it too, and says that he gets the photo if the gang goes free. Jen adds that he'll also clear their records, and he agrees, letting them go. As they leave, Jen asks Courtney where she got the photo, and Courtney replies that she found it in the back files at Glitter Shots.
The gang's gathered around the table by the Big Squeeze, where Jen has presumably patched things up with her friends. Jude asks Jonesy what happened to Lydia, and Jonesy replies that he let her down easy. Suddenly, Lydia appears behind him. Jonesy mentions that they broke up, and Lydia says "That doesn't mean we can't still go out!" Jonesy points out that it does indeed mean that, and when Nikki speaks up, he then claims that Nikki is his girlfriend. Nikki is a bit taken by surprise, but then agrees with Jonesy's story. Lydia says they don't look like a couple, so when Jonesy tries to make up stuff they apparently do together, Nikki just gives Jonesy a long kiss. Lydia walks away angrily. Stunned, Jonesy asks Nikki out and she says she'll think about it, and then pushes him over with one finger. Jude then notes that there's a lot about women he doesn't understand, and Wyatt agrees.
Waitress: One Kitchen Sink Nachos. Knock yourselves out. Nikki: I think you're my favorite person in the world. Waitress: That's real nice, honey. Know what'd be nicer? A big tip.
Wyatt: I'd wash that shoe polish off, or it might stain your face. Ron: What did you say, scum? Wyatt:(scared) It's just an opinion.
Wyatt: I love older women. Jude: Me too. There's something comforting about knowing she used to tuck me into bed in my Underoos.
Lydia: So, you don't know when he'll be back? Jude: No, he went out and told me specifically to tell you he didn't know when he was going to be back. Lydia: Well, give him this gift for me. Jude: What is it? Lydia: It's an anatomically accurate life-size sculpture of my heart! I did it from an MRI I had last year. I would've made a model of my soul to go with it, but it's invisible to magnetic resonance imaging.
Courtney: And that's when Jen fell into the dog poo. She got it all over her dress! (The gang laughs.) Jude: You're really funny. And hot. (Jen arrives.) Wyatt: Hey Jen! I hear your cousin's wedding was a real stinker!
Jen: I am not the evil swamp hag! Courtney: Why are you being such a baby? Jen: I am not being a baby! I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE THE EVIL SWAMP HAG, OKAY?
Caitlin: Where's Jen? Courtney: Probably at home with Mom. She's about as fun as a math quiz.
Courtney:(laughing) This is even funnier than the time she fell on the poop! Caitlin:How can you be so mean? She's your sister! Courtney: Oh come on, this is funny.
Lydia: Jonesy! Where've you been? Jonesy: I broke up with you, remember? Lydia: That doesn't mean we can't still go out. Jonesy: Actually, it does. Lydia: Let's have our picture taken together! Jonesy: Um, no.
Courtney: Now that everyone knows you have have boobs of your own, that shouldn't be a problem.
These characters made their first appearance here:
In this episode, Wyatt said that he had had his heart broken, but he was not dumped by Serena until the next episode "The One with the Text Message."
It is entirely possible he was referring to another girl, however.
It's also possible that this episode is somewhat out of continuity; after all, Wyatt seemingly forgets that Serena is his girlfriend.
Jen had a best friend in Grade 2 named Samantha, but then Courtney stole her from Jen because she had better Barbie dolls.
Goof: The shoe polish on the side of Ron's head (courtesy of a prank from the guys) is covering his ear at the start of the scene. But when the scene ends, it's only on the side of his jaw and his ear is clean.
Goof: When the episode comes up on Cartoon Network's schedule, the networks plays Boo, Dude instead.
Goof: When Wyatt says "I love older women," his hair color changes to black.
The episode name is a pun on The Brady Bunch line, "It's always Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!"
Jonesy somehow managed to get his hands on the Pokey the Panda costume from his previous job in "The Girls in the Band" in order to hide from Lydia.
Jonesy's job: Employee at Glitter Shots, a photo studio. Apparently their tagline is "We put you in the picture and dress you up funny". Reason for firing: The files for the fake IDs were found
Courtney's photo costume has a striking resemblence to that of Xena Warrior Princess.