It's Always Courtney, Courtney, Courtney! is the 24th episode of 6teen and the 24th episode of the first season. It aired on June 22, 2005 in Canada on Teletoon, and remains unaired in the United States.
Jen's older sister Courtney is visiting on her break from university. Unfortunately for Jen, Courtney is and always has been perceived as more fun, and Courtney has her sights set on stealing Jen's friends.
Caitlin, Nikki, and Wyatt are eating nachos at El Sporto's when Jen arrives and starts shoveling nachos into her mouth like she's starving. The reason for this behavior? Stress, brought on by the return of her older sister Courtney, who has always been more popular than her. Wyatt tries to comfort her, but is unsuccessful; however, before the group can dwell on Courtney too much, Jonesy and Jude run in and hide under the table, with Ron in hot pursuit. It seems that Jonesy and Jude pranked him with shoe polish on his walkie-talkie. Ron pressures them to tell him where the pranksters went, but when the group pleads that they know nothing, he leaves.
Upon being informed of Courtney's impending return, though, Jonesy and Jude do nothing to assuage Jen's fears, with both of them reminiscing about how hot she was when they were little kids. Courtney's arrival only compounds this, as she is actually hotter than the guys remember. Soon, the group has gathered around the table, and Courtney, having won over the guys, starts to work on the girls while antagonizing Jen by calling her "Flash." When everybody leaves for work, Courtney offers to drop by the Khaki Barn to check in on Nikki, and then begins chatting with Caitlin. Jen goes along with Nikki, and on the way tells Nikki that Courtney has stolen Jen's best friend and first boyfriend before and she's afraid that Courtney will steal her current friends. Nikki thinks that her friend is being paranoid, but does her best to reassure Jen that things will be all right and that her friends won't desert her–which Jen, for the moment, accepts.
Jonesy, meanwhile, takes the guys to his new job at the mall's photography studio. There, they reminisce about Courtney and talk about her until Jonesy receives a call on his cell from his girlfriend, Lydia–a call that he ignores because he believes that Lydia is too clingy. Soon, Lydia proves him right, as she calls the store phone and then appears while he's busy answering it. Luckily for Jonesy, his friends are willing to get him out of trouble by dressing up in store-provided costumes and pretending to be customers, but Jonesy is still worried about his situation with Lydia even after she leaves.
Jen is at work at the Penalty Box when Courtney comes in with Caitlin. It seems that Caitlin and Courtney have become fast friends, because Courtney took Caitlin shopping and complimented Caitlin's flair for halter tops. Courtney then takes a shot, makes it, and reminds Jen that even though Jen's team got to the semifinals the previous season, Courtney was once on a team that won the championship. She and Caitlin then head off to the Khaki Barn to see Nikki. Jen follows in order to spy on them, and Jen witnesses Nikki talking to Courtney. She rushes in, but only manages to make herself look paranoid, as Courtney was merely talking about how Jen admires Nikki. Soon, though, Courtney turns the conversation to Nikki, and compliments her on working to change the Khaki Barn from the inside. Nikki is flattered by this, and when Courtney invites her for coffee, Nikki readily accepts.
Soon, the whole group except for Jen has gathered inside Grind Me for coffee and stories about Jen's childhood. When Jen arrives, she's shocked to learn that Courtney has told them a story about Jen falling in dog poop at a wedding and one where Jen apparently liked to run around the backyard naked as a kid. Jen is humiliated and upset by these stories, but before she can even attempt to articulate why she's so upset, Lydia arrives, looking for Jonesy. Jonesy has planned ahead and is in disguise, and Courtney tells Lydia that she saw Jonesy at the arcade, and Lydia leaves. Jonesy gratefully offers to reward Courtney for her help, so Courtney suggests that they all get pictures taken at Jonesy's workplace.
Jonesy is surprised by this suggestion, but goes along with it, and soon the entire group has gathered at Glitter Shots for a themed photograph. The theme is a group of warriors defeating an ugly swamp hag, and Courtney naturally chooses her little sister to be the ugly swamp hag. Jen is offended by this choice, and refuses to be the swamp hag; however, Courtney is able to manipulate the argument to make Jen look like the unreasonable one, and eventually Jen bows to peer pressure and gets into costume. When the picture is taken, it comes out well–especially since Jen looks like she really wants to kill Courtney.
Courtney follows up the photo suggestion with another idea: they should go to the hot new dance club in the mall, Club X-S. The teens initially object because they don't have ID, but Courtney knows how to make fakes using the Glitter Shots software, and soon all of the teens have cards saying that they're twenty-one. Everybody but Jen is enthusiastic to go to the club, and all of them leave except for Jen and Courtney, because Jen holds Courtney back to inform her that this could be trouble. Courtney brushes off Jen's concerns, however, and points out to Jen that her friends prefer Courtney.
This comment gets Jen's goat, and she resolves to do something about it. That night, she surprises her friends by showing up at the club in a tight pink dress with her hair in an updo. She begins dancing, but the straps on her dress snap, revealing her breasts to the entire club. Jen doesn't notice that she's topless until Caitlin points it out. Upon realizing this, Jen runs to the restrooms to fix her dress while Courtney laughs at her little sister's misfortune. None of Jen's friends are impressed by Courtney's cruelty, however, as they find her insensitivity an affront. Before Nikki can check to make sure that Jen is okay, though, she bumps into Ron, who has arrived to arrest the group for sneaking in.
Ron is about to arrest all six, but Courtney weasels out of an arrest by saying she's not with them and showing Ron her valid ID. When Jen comes back, she isn't pleased to see that Courtney has sold out her friends, and she drags Courtney off against her will so that they can bail the gang out. Courtney is displeased, and only becomes more so when Jen lectures her on responsibility and the importance of being an actual friend. Courtney eventually snaps and then starts claiming that all their parents ever do is go on and on and on about how proud they are of Jen and how she's so responsible, hardworking and actually has good friends. Jen's surprised to hear this, and claims that all their parents ever do is talk about how proud they are of Courtney and her accomplishments. Courtney then bluntly states that's all about to change before dropping a bomb: she didn't come home early because of spring break--in reality, she came home early because she got kicked out of school (likely due to flunking her classes). Jen's surprised but also very happy to hear this, because it means that Courtney's not as perfect as everyone always assumed. Courtney also confesses that she's always been secretly jealous of Jen and adds that she's true favorite of their family.
Courtney and Jen patch things up, and they come up with a plan to get the gang out of mall jail. This plan involves blackmailing Ron with pictures of him in a mankini that had been left at Glitter Shots. Naturally, Ron doesn't want this picture to get out, so he lets the group out of jail and Courtney leaves behind his embarrassing photo.
The next day, the gang meet by the table, close friends once again. One loose end is still left to be tied up, though, as Jude notes: they never did find out what happened to Lydia. Jonesy reveals that he dumped her, but his statement is seemingly undercut by Lydia arriving at the table, acting like they're still dating. Jonesy reiterates to her that they've broken up, but Lydia's reaction is to claim that even though they broke up, it doesn't mean that they can't go out. Jonesy seems to be trapped with the crazy girl when Nikki stands up, claims that Jonesy is her boyfriend, and kisses him on the lips. Lydia, shocked, walks away, while Jonesy ends up unable to speak correctly. He still somehow manages to ask Nikki out, and Nikki says that she'll think about it.
Waitress: One Kitchen Sink Nachos. Knock yourselves out. Nikki: I think you're my favorite person in the world. Waitress: That's real nice, honey. Know what'd be nicer? A big tip.
Wyatt: I'd wash that shoe polish off, or it might stain your face. Ron: What did you say, scum? Wyatt:(scared) It's just an opinion.
Wyatt: I love older women. Jude: Me too. There's something comforting about knowing she used to tuck me into bed in my Underoos.
Lydia: So, you don't know when he'll be back? Jude: No, he went out and told me specifically to tell you he didn't know when he was going to be back. Lydia: Well, give him this gift for me. Jude: What is it? Lydia: It's an anatomically accurate life-size sculpture of my heart! I did it from an MRI I had last year. I would've made a model of my soul to go with it, but it's invisible to magnetic resonance imaging.
Courtney: And that's when Jen fell into the dog poo. She got it all over her dress! (The gang laughs.) Jude: You're really funny. And hot. (Jen arrives.) Wyatt: Hey Jen! I hear your cousin's wedding was a real stinker!
Jen: I am not the evil swamp hag! Courtney: Why are you being such a baby? Jen: I am not being a baby! I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE THE EVIL SWAMP HAG, OKAY?
Caitlin: Where's Jen? Courtney: Probably at home with Mom. She's about as fun as a math quiz.
Courtney:(laughing) This is even funnier than the time she fell on the poop! Caitlin:How can you be so mean? She's your sister! Courtney: Oh come on, this is funny.
Courtney: Now that everyone knows you have have boobs of your own, that shouldn't be a problem.
Lydia: Jonesy! Where've you been? Jonesy: I broke up with you, remember? Lydia: That doesn't mean we can't still go out. Jonesy: Actually, it does. Lydia: Let's have our picture taken together! Jonesy: Um, no.
Goof: The shoe polish on the side of Ron's head (courtesy of a prank from the guys) is covering his ear at the start of the scene. But when the scene ends, it's only on the side of his jaw and his ear is clean.
Goof: When Wyatt says "I love older women," his hair color changes to black.