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Jonesy's Low Mojo/Script

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Script


[Nikki and Wyatt walk into Grind Me. Wyatt is clad in his work uniform.]
Nikki: "Hey Wyatt, fashion tip. You don't need to wear the hat until you're actually at work."
Wyatt: "Huh?" [He takes his hat off.] "Oh, why didn't you tell me I was still wearing this? I might as well wear a sign that says 'I earn minimum wage'!"
Nikki: "I was waiting to see how long it would take you to notice."
Wyatt: "Pre-caffeine, no fair."
Penalty Box Customer: "Nuts." [He trots out of the store.]
Nikki: "What's chafing his butt?" [Wyatt shrugs, and Nikki tries to attract the barista's attention.] "Hey. One no-foam soy chai latte?"
Wyatt: "One jet-fueled mocha Stimu-latte. Man do I need this coffee. I was up till 3 AM writing new songs for the Burger Bible."
Nikki: "The what?"
Wyatt: "Burger McFlipster's has a song bible, and Tim ordered me to rewrite them all! Oh, I have the worst writer's block."
Nikki: "Wyatt, Bono would have trouble writing an ode to a slab of meat. Don't beat yourself up." [The barista, who is reading instead of working, snickers.] "Uh, excuse me? We're on break, and news flash, you're not, so hurry it up with those caps!"
[The barista picks up two cups and puts them in front of the waiting duo.]
Stone: "Next!"
Wyatt: "What are these?"
Stone: "You've got three choices today: small, medium, and large. Go crazy."
[Over by the coffeepots, Stuart Goldstein is trying to get a coffee. He spills hot bean juice on his crotch.]
Stuart Goldstein: "AAAAAHHH!"
Wyatt: [thinking the barista is joking] "Good one."
Nikki: "We ordered no-foam soy chai l–"
Stone: "Yeah, yeah, I know, but pretentious waste of five bucks. 4.50 of it's just gonna go back into the Grind Me marketing machine."
Nikki: "What's your problem?"
Stone: "They all taste the same, stop kidding yourself."
Nikki: "Okay, lemme guess. You don't know how to make them, do you."
Stone: [sheepish] "Busted."
Nikki: "I don't suppose that book on your lap is a training manual."
Wyatt: "Okay, wait. Nikki is reminding someone to read their training manual? This is too funny!"
Nikki: "A trained monkey could make lattes. It's not that hard."
Stone: "Do you even know what a real coffee tastes like? You're a coffee sheep! Tell me what overpriced sludge to drink! Baaaaaaaa!"
Wyatt: [whispering to Nikki] "This guy sounds like you!"
Stone: "I dare you to drink a plain medium coffee and see if your world comes tumbling down."
Nikki: "You are going to make me that latte, blender boy."
Stone: "Or else?"
Nikki: "Or else I'll get your sorry butt fired!"
Stone: [sarcastic] "Ooh, now I'm scared."
Wyatt: "C'mon, Nikki, we're late."
Nikki: "Fine!" [She allows Wyatt to lead her away.]


[Nikki is angrily ripping open packets of sugar and dumping them into a coffee cup.]
Nikki: "Ugh! Can you believe that minimum-wage know-it-all wisecracking–"
Wyatt: "Nikki?"
Nikki: "He thinks it's just him against the man, so much smarter than the rest of us!"
Wyatt: "Nikki." [Nikki continues ripping packets of sugar.] "Nikki?"
Nikki: "What? I just wanted him to make a soy no-foam–"
Wyatt: "You might want to go easy on the sugars." [Nikki stops.] "You like him, don't you."
Nikki: [loudly] "I do not like him!"
[The entire cafe turns to stare at Nikki.]
Nikki: "Well I don't."


The opening credits roll.
The title of this episode is
Jonesy's Low Mojo

[Jonesy and Jude are walking through the mall.]
Jude: "I'm like the only dude at work now! Wyatt got fired, and Wayne's on vacation!"
Jonesy: "Are you kidding me? You're laughing, man! Underground Video is your territory now!" [They walk into the arcade.] "Here at the arcade, I'm the business."
[A group of pre-teen boys surround them.]
Pre-teen Boy #1: "Look, it's Jonesy!"
Pre-teen Boy #2: "Wow, he's tall!"
Pre-teen Boy #3: "Look at that."
Pre-teen Boy #4: "Wow, he's cool, man."
Jonesy: "When I come in, these punks douse their drawers. Watch."
[Jonesy holds his backpack out, and two kids take it. He then holds up his hand and catches a soda.]
Jude: "Sweet!"
Jonesy: "And now for the game that made the Jonesmiester a legend. Space Annihilator." [He goes over to the game and taps a kid on the shoulder.] "Scram!" [The kid scrams. Jonesy hands his half-empty soda off and allows one of his worshippers to insert a quarter and then starts playing.] "Oh yeah! Bring it home to Jonesy! Oh, did you see that? You're a genius!" [His phone rings, and a pre-teen boy takes it.]
Pre-teen Boy #2: "Jonesy's line. He can't talk right now. What's your name again?"
Jen: "Uh, Jen? Masterson? Tell him that if he doesn't start picking up his underwear around the house, I'm gonna hang it off the lemon!" [She hangs up. Jen, Nikki and Caitlin are at the Big Squeeze.] "Sorry Nikki. Where were we?"
Nikki: "Well, that little slimeball tells me to order a regular coffee from–"
Caitlin: "Wait. Are you guys talking about grumpy hot guy at the Grind Me on level 3?"
Nikki: "You have a name for him?"
Jen: "We have names for all the hot guys in the mall."
Caitlin: [sighing] "I love the way grumpy hot guy never shaves."
Jen: [dreamily] "Or smiles."
Nikki: "Look. We are not getting all boy-crazy over this guy."
Jen: "But it's so fun!"
Caitlin: "We don't have any boys to go crazy over ourselves. Can't we at least go crazy over your boy?"
Jen: "We can go proxy boy-crazy."
Jen and Caitlin: "WOOO! YEAH!"
Nikki: "Okay, that's really weird. And, he's not my boy. Not interested."
Caitlin: "Grumpy hot guy's hot for Nikki!"
Nikki: "Uh, no. Grumpy Nikki's grumpy for grumpy hot guy! W–what am I saying?"
Caitlin: "Okay. At least tell us what sign he is."
Nikki: "UUUHHHH!" [She facepalms.]
Caitlin: "Probably a Virgo."
Wyatt: [walking up] "You have anything caffeinated back there?"
Nikki: [looking up] "I'll get you coffee." [making an excuse] "Uh, it's my turn."
Jen: [after Nikki leaves] "She is so hooked."
Nikki: "I heard that!"
[Wyatt's phone rings. He answers.]
Wyatt: "Hey. What? Cool!" [He hangs up.] "Jonesy's about to beat the all-time world record on Space Annihilator."
Caitlin: "Do you think he'll win a shopping spree? Or a free spa weekend?"
Jen: "Oh that'd be good."
Wyatt: "No. He'll have the highest score on the planet. He'll be totally famous!"
Jen: "That's it?"
Caitlin: "No spa weekend?"
[Wyatt sighs and stands up.]
Wyatt: "Come on with me. We'll just go check it out."


[In the arcade, Jonesy is furiously tapping buttons and moving the joystick. His followers cheer him.]
Jude: "All right, dude! Almost there!"
Caitlin: "This is so exciting!"
Wyatt: "What does Jonesy see in this place? I can't stand it! The noise, the violent games–"
Jude: "Dude is a hundred and fifty points away from the world record!"
[Jonesy is working hard on getting the record.]
Pre-teen Boy #2: "If he wins this round, he'll be immortal!"
Jen: "Right. How long has he been here, anyway?"
Jude: "About four hours."
Jonesy: "I better win soon. I ate a burrito for breakfast that's just dying to get out!"
Jen and Wyatt: "Ugh!"
Jonesy: "Whoa! Close one! Come on...yes...he's in my sights...this is it!"
[Jonesy slams down the firing button, and is greeted with a win.]
Jude: [as the arcade groupies cheer] "You did it, bro!"
Caitlin: [hugging Jonesy] "All right Jonesy!"
Wyatt: "I'm impressed."
Jen: "Wow."
Norm: "Hey congratulations, man, you did it." [to the assembled crowd] "You're looking at the Space Annihilator world champion here." [The crowd cheers.]
Jonesy: [as Pomp and Circumstance plays] "These hands are a gift. And I take this gift seriously! And I plan to make the most of this title to inspire young people everywhere to spend as much time in the arcade as is humanly possible!" [The crowd cheers.]
Jude: "Yeah!"
Wyatt: "You the man, baby!"
Norm: "And as world champion, Jonesy, you get this one-month free pass to every game in GameWorld, plus staff washroom privileges."
Jonesy: "All right!" [He starts farting.] "I gotta go." [He runs off.] "Gangway, my back teeth are floating!"
Caitlin: "Too bad Nikki wasn't here to see Jonesy win."
Jen: "I bet she and hot grumpy guy are hitting it off right now."
Wyatt: "Are you talking about that guy at Grind Me? Because I asked Nikki if she liked him this morning, and she said no."
Caitlin: "You have so much to learn about love, Wyatt."
Wyatt: [annoyed] "They're all sisters."


[Stone and Charmaine are at work.]
Charmaine: "You're late again."
Stone: "Sorry, I went to the wrong Grind Me. All 40 locations look exactly the same. People only spend five bucks a pop on this black guck because caffeine is a stimulant. You know what you are? You're a glorified caffeine pusher. You ought to be ashamed of yourself."
Charmaine: "Stone! You've got a customer!" [She walks off, and Stone turns around.]
Stone: "Oh, it's Princess Latte."
Nikki: "One extra-hot skinny silky double-whipped caramel chai Fava-latte with cinnamon sprinkles."
Stone: "You do realize that no combination of anything in this store can go into the blender and come out edible."
Charmaine: "Stone!"
Nikki: "Get grinding, blender boy."
Stone: "Okay. They're your intestines."
[Stone goes off and makes the drink. When he finishes, he brings it back to Nikki.]
Nikki: "Hmm..."
Stone: "What?"
Nikki: "Well, I asked for cinnamon sprinkles? These sprinkles are chocolate. Guess little barista boy's gonna have to start all over again."
Stone: "You have got to be kidding."
Charmaine: [coming over] "Everything okay here?"
Nikki: "Is it?" [She looks at Stone pointedly.]
Stone: "Fine!" [He grabs the cup from Nikki and goes to remake the drink.]


[Jonesy's photo is attacked to a plaque by the arcade.]
Jonesy: "Here it is. Man! I take a good picture."
Wyatt: "Does it bother you that you're about five years older than everybody else in here?"
Jonesy: "Heck no! It's a testament to my staying power."
Jude: "You gonna play a few free rounds on your champion game, bro?"
Jonesy: "Oh yeah! Gentlemen, watch and learn!" [He waltzes over to the game and screams.] "Aah! What happened to the score?" [He hears the arcade manager using a stapler to put up a new plaque.] "Norm! What are you doing, man?!?"
Norm: "After you left yesterday, Nelson beat your high score on Space Annihilator. That kid is good."
[Jonesy starts to sniffle. Nelson comes by, flanked by the arcade groupies.]
Jonesy: "So you lucked out yesterday, huh?"
Nelson: "Nothing to do with luck, my friend."
Pre-teen Boy #2: "He's a legend."
Jonesy: "Shut up, punk! Let's settle this right now. Two-player Annihilator, winner takes all."
Nelson: "You're on."
Wyatt: [whispering] "I can't watch."
Jude: "Me neither, dude."
[Jude and Wyatt leave. Jonesy and Nelson insert their game passes and start playing.]


[Kirsten and Kristen are playing tug-of-war with a pink scarf.]
Chrissy: "Girls, girls, girls, there's tons more silk scarf belts in the back." [They stop fighting.]
Kristen: "None in pink." [The fighting resumes. Nikki walks up to them.]
Nikki: "So, who wants coffee?"
[Kristen stops tugging, shocked.]
Chrissy: "You wanna buy us coffees?"
Nikki: "Uh-huh."
Chrissy: "What's the catch?"
Nikki: "No catch. It's my turn."
Kirsten: "But it's been your turn for like, eight months."
Chrissy: "Remember the time you 'went for coffees' and took the rest of the day off? Or the time you got us decafs instead of regular coffees and our sales numbers sucked?"
Nikki: "Yep, good times. Hey, is it so hard to believe that I just want to be nice?"
Kirsten: "Yes."


[The game is going strong at the arcade when suddenly Nelson pulls out in front and wins.]
Jonesy: "Aw, come on!"
[Jonesy punches the machine, and it shorts out.]
Stanley: "You're gonna get it."
Jonesy: "Shut up, punk!"
[Stanley punches Jonesy in the groin, and the arcade groupies laugh.]
Jonesy: [gasping for air] "My boys."
Norm: "Jonesy."
Jonesy: [pained] "Norm?" [He shambles over, clutching his crotch.] "When can you have this baby fixed? I've got a title to defend here."
Norm: "It'll be ready when it's ready." [He pushes Jonesy away.]
Jonesy: [to Nelson] "Hey, bigshot. Show us what you're made of. One-on-one Asteroid Hunter."
Nelson: "Oh, you're on like DeathCon."
[Shortly thereafter, Jonesy is shown losing to Nelson.]
Jonesy: "Come on come on! Huh?" [losing] "What a piece of crap game." [He kicks the machine.] "Get me a pop."
Pre-teen Boy #4: "Get your own."
Jonesy: [shocked] "What?"
[Nelson holds his hand up, and a soda can flies into it. It is apparent who the new ruler of the arcade is.]


[Nikki walks into Grind Me once again.]
Nikki: "Hey. The Illustrated Hitchhiker's Guide? What, you need pictures to get through it?"
Stone: "You like me, don't you."
Nikki: [taken aback] "Excuse me?"
Stone: "I don't know anybody who drinks this much coffee in one day, especially this sludge."
Nikki: "Okay, you are completely self-delusional. I do not like–"
Stone: "'Cause I like you. A lot."
Nikki: [shocked] "Uh–"
Stone: "What? Don't tell me the sharpest tongue in the mall has nothing to say."
Nikki: "Um–"
Stone: "I'm Stone."
Nikki: [shaking his hand] "Nikki. Nice to meet you."
Stone: "Wanna catch a movie with me tonight? That indie film, One Night in Red Deer, is at the Gigantoplex."
Nikki: "Sure! Red Deer. Sounds–uh–yeah."


Kristen: "Welcome to the Khaki Barn! Have a Khaki Day."
[Nikki is carrying coffees back to work. Caitlin and Jen are spying on her.]
Jen: "Nikki's been back to Grind Me."
Caitlin: "Things are definitely heating up."
[Nikki walks into the store and sets the coffees down. Kristen sniffs them, then takes a sip.]
Kirsten: "Is that one mine?"
Nikki: "Yep. Here you go."
Jen: [right behind Nikki] "Hi Nikki."
[Nikki is startled and throws the coffee in her hand forward–right onto Kirsten.]
Kirsten: "AAAAAAAHHHHAAAHHHHHH!!!" [She runs around the store, screaming.]
Caitlin: "You weren't just hanging out with grumpy hot guy, were you?" [Chrissy and Kristen go to assist.]
Nikki: "Of course not."
Jen: "Anyway, we're going to the movies tonight."
Caitlin: "Yep. Chick flick night."
Jen: "We were thinking of going to see A Girl and her Hair."
Nikki: "Oh, uh...I can't. I'm working late."
Caitlin: "We could wait until the late show. Right Jen?"
Jen: "Yeah, I don't mind."
Nikki: "Uh...actually...I'm kinda tired. I think I'll just head home early."
Jen: "Oh. Okay." [to Caitlin after Nikki walks away] "Was it me, or was Nikki lying?"
Caitlin: "Through her teeth."
Jen: "You know what this means."
Caitlin: "She's so hooked!"
Jen and Caitlin: "EEEEE!!!"
[Jen and Caitlin exit the store. Kirsten runs by, Kristen and Chrissy in hot pursuit.]
Chrissy: "Hold still!" [She blasts Kristen and Kirsten with a fire extinguisher. They scream and run in opposite directions. Outside, Jen and Caitlin are talking things over.]
Jen: "Okay. We need to stay nearby in case grumpy hot guy shows up. I don't wanna miss a minute of this!"
Caitlin: "I'll get some snacks. No stakeout is complete without mini brownie puffs."
Jen: "Or Miss Piggy's Chips."
Caitlin: "Right."


[Jonesy and Wyatt are on the couch at Underground Video. Jonesy is depressed.]
Jonesy: "He's a speed demon! It could take weeks of full-time practice to beat him."
Jude: "That little dude whipped your butt?"
Jonesy: "No, he just won a few rounds! I'll nail him tomorrow, though."
Wyatt: "Maybe it's time you retired. You've already got the best Space Annihilator score in the world."
Jude: "Yeah, for twenty minutes."
Wyatt: "Not helping, Jude. Now you can pass on the torch."
Jonesy: "To that little twerp? Are you kidding me?" [despondent] "You guys don't know what that arcade meant to me. No matter what went wrong in my life, if I lost a hockey game, or got rejected by some chick, I could walk into that arcade and know I was money."
Wyatt: "Well, if it's that important to you, you need to get back on your horse and win that title back."
Jude: "Yeah. Make the mini-dude bow down to the mighty Jonesy!"
Jonesy: "You're right! I'll take that title back from that little fart no matter what it takes! Stealing, lying, cheating, sky's the limit! Thanks dudes." [He leaves.]
Wyatt: "Not really where I was heading with that."


[Nikki is folding clothes at work when Stone comes up behind her and clamps his hands over her eyes.]
Stone: "Guess who?"
Nikki: "Well, based on the smell of fresh-ground coffee, I'd have to say...blender boy?"
Stone: "The one and only. Ready for the movie?"
Nikki: "Sure, let's go." [They start to leave.]
Chrissy: "Oh, Nikki? Where are you going?"
Nikki: "Out."
Chrissy: "But your shift doesn't end for another hour."
Stone: "I'm afraid I'm going to have to take this young lady to Emergency."
Chrissy: "What? Why?"
Stone: "She has a severe case of corporate oppression."
Nikki: [snickering] "Well better hurry doc, my soul is almost crushed."
[Nikki and Stone leave, laughing. Chrissy and Kristen stare after them.]
Chrissy: "She has a soul?"


[The stakeout is going strong when Nikki and Stone walk by.]
Stone: "I didn't just get you fired, did I?"
Nikki: "In my dreams."
Caitlin: [watching] "Oh, I don't know about that guy. He's like a male version of Nikki."
Jen: "Yeah, it's like she's dating her doppelgänger." [Caitlin looks at her blankly.] "You know, her double?" [Silence.] "Her evil twin?"
Caitlin: "Oh yeah! I've read all about this. Dating someone exactly like you can be brutal."
Jen: "Especially if you're Nikki."
Caitlin: "Yeah, she'd get on her own nerves pretty fast. This could be a disaster."
Jen: "We've gotta stop them from getting too serious! Let's follow them."
Caitlin: "Oh. I guess this means we are gonna miss A Girl and her Hair."
Jen: "We are such good friends. Don't forget the chips."
[Caitlin and Jen follow the daters, Caitlin carrying the snacks with her.]


[Nelson is playing a round when Jonesy comes up to him. He watches Nelson angrily for a few minutes, then walks around the console. Suddenly, Nelson's game goes black. Jonesy has "accidentally" pulled the plug.]
Jonesy: "Oh, sorry man."


[Nelson is once again playing when Jonesy suddenly blows a party noisemaker at him. Nelson falls back from the game, losing.]
Norm: "Jonesy!"
Jonesy: "What! It was an accident!"


[Nelson is playing another round when a stream of yellow liquid hits him in the face. He winces. Jonesy is spitting his soda onto Nelson.]
Norm: "Jonesy!" [Jonesy turns around, spilling the rest of his drink on Nelson.]
Jonesy: "What?"


[Nelson cannot get his game on this time because there is a stuffed chipmunk poking him in the face.]
Norm: "Jonesy!"


[Jonesy walks by Nelson and drops a bunch of coins.]
Jonesy: [feigning surprise] "Oh my! I've dropped my change!"
[Jonesy bends over to pick it up and lets loose a ripper right into Nelson's face.]
Jonesy: "Oops!"


[Nelson is playing the game, just trying to have some fun, when the chipmunk shows up again at the second-player console. The chipmunk wiggles the joystick furiously, causing Nelson to lose, then disappears. Jonesy laughs on the other side of the game. Norm comes up to him.]
Norm: "Smarten up, Jonesy, or I'll take your gold pass back!"
Jonesy: [to Nelson, angrily] "Just wait till tonight's big match! You'll see who's money!"


[Stone and Nikki are at the movies.]
Stone: "Are your co-workers like triplets or something?"
Nikki: "Yeah. They're clones. Manufactured at Head Office and preprogrammed to get on my nerves. What about you? What's with the Java Joe job?"
Stone: "Just biding my time until I graduate, and then hitchhike around Nepal."
Nikki: "Good plan. Now stop hogging the popcorn!"
Stone: "I don't remember offering you any."
Nikki: "C'mon, hand it over."
Stone: [holding it away from her] "Nuh-uh."
Nikki: "C'mon!"
Stone: "Nuh-uh."
Nikki: "C'mon! Give it to me! Come on. Are you kidding?"
[As they playfully fight, Caitlin and Jen are watching from above. Jen has binoculars.]
Caitlin: "Can you see them? What's going on?"
Jen: "Oh no! They're fighting already!"
Caitlin: "I knew it! Oh, this could get ugly."
Jen: "Poor Nikki! Let's get down there."
Caitlin: "Wait. We don't want to embarrass her unless it's absolutely necessary. We'll move in close, but stay undercover."
Jen: "Right." [They start to exit their row.] "Can I just–sorry."
Caitlin: "Excuse me. Coming through."
Jen: "Excuse me."
[Stone and Nikki are holding hands in the front row.]
Stone: "Scared yet?"
Nikki: "I don't generally get scared at comedies."
Stone: "Too bad. I'm a good cuddler."
Nikki: "Easy, tiger." [Jen and Caitlin creep in and take seats behind them. Nikki notices and whispers to Stone.] "Hey. Don't look back. Play along with me." [Stone starts to look behind him] "Don't turn around. I need to teach somebody a lesson."
Stone: [whispering] "What do you need me to do?" [Nikki whispers to him, and he nods. He starts speaking normally.] "Nikki! Thanks for offering to pay for the whole evening."
Nikki: "That's okay. I stole all the money from the Khaki Barn cash."
Stone: "Good thinking. Have any more?" [Caitlin moves to speak, but Jen stops her.]
Nikki: "No, but we can lift someone's wallet on the way out."
Jen: [loudly] "Nikki! Have you lost your mind? This guy is a criminal!"
Moviegoer: "I'll hire him to shut you up!"
Moviegoer #2: "Shut up!"
Moviegoer #3: "Ssh!"
Nikki: [quietly] "These are my friends who won't mind their own business, Caitlin and Jen."
Stone: "Hey."
Caitlin and Jen: "Hi."
Caitlin: "So you knew we were here the whole time?"
Nikki: "Yep."
Jen: "So...you're not a thief?"
Nikki: "Uh-uh."
Jen: "Following you was Caitlin's idea."
Caitlin: [gasping] "It so wasn't!"
Nikki: "What are you two doing in here?"
Jen: "We were worried about you, Nikki."
Moviegoer #4: "Shut up."
Moviegoer #3: "Ssh."
Caitlin: "You skipped our chick flick date and lied to us, then went off on a date with grumpy hot guy."
Stone: "The name is Stone."
Caitlin: "Hi."
Jen: "Nice to meet you."
[A flashlight shines on them.]
Usher: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."


[At the arcade, Jonesy is ready to play. He and Nelson insert their coins.]
Jonesy: "Tonight is the night when you stop being a pain in my butt, little one."
Nelson: "Just hit start so we can get this over with."
[Jonesy does as commanded, and they start playing. Jonesy knocks Nelson's hat off, but Nelson takes no notice, instead playing. Jonesy tries to keep up, but is unable to.]
Jonesy: "C'mon! C'mon! Aaaahhh!"
Game: "Player One game over."
[The other gamers cheer Nelson. Jonesy stands in front of the game, frozen, before slamming his head down on the panel. He starts to cry and then resumes smashing his head down.]
Norm: [coming up to him] "Listen, Jonesy, with the way you've been acting, I'm going to have to take your gold pass away."
Jonesy: [shocked] "What? My pass?" [Norm holds out his hand, and Jonesy sadly hands it over.]
Wyatt: "C'mon, man. Let's get out of here."


[The guys have moved to Grind Me. Wyatt is sipping a coffee.]
Jonesy: "Maybe you were right, Wyatt. Maybe I am past my peak. You should just take me out to pasture and shoot me."
Jude: "Whoa, dude is messed up."
[A nice-looking red-haired girl comes by and ruffles Jonesy's hair.]
Fine Girl: "Hey Jonesy."
Jonesy: [awakening to new possibilities] "Hey there, beautiful."
Wyatt: "Or not so messed up."
Jonesy: "You know, maybe it is time to hang up the old arcade trophies and focus on more mature pursuits. Like chicks! Later." [chasing the girl] "Hey baby, you ever played doubles on Space Annihilator?"
Jude: [chuckling] "Dude's still messed up!"
[Wyatt chuckles in agreement.]


[Stone, Nikki, Caitlin and Jen are outside the Gigantoplex.]
Nikki: "Look, I'm sorry about my friends. They're a bit...protective."
Stone: "No worries. But now we have to come back and see the movie again. Your treat."
Nikki: "Yeah well, I think I'll be choosing a good movie next time."
[Stone pulls Nikki close and kisses her.]
Nikki: [awkwardly] "Okay then." [Jen and Caitlin smile.]
Stone: "So, I had a rotten time tonight."
Nikki: "Yeah, me too, me too. The worst."
Stone: [getting a pen] "Can I get your number so I can never call you?"
Nikki: [taking the pen] "Not a chance." [She writes down her number on a ticket stub.]
Stone: "See ya."
Nikki: "See ya."
[Stone leaves. Nikki happily watches him walk away.]
Jen: "Okay, we are so sorry, Nikki."
Caitlin: "We were just trying to help."
Nikki: "Oh come on! You two were acting like crazy people! Stone is kind of...important to me, I don't want to blow it. Promise me you won't tell the guys yet. I don't want Jonesy to hear about this the wrong way."
Jen: [sarcastic] "Yeah. He's so sensitive."
Nikki: "Promise?"
Jen: "I promise."
Caitlin: "Promise."


[Jen and Nikki are at the table while Caitlin works.]
Jen: "I give 50/50 odds that Stone calls you today, Nikki."
Caitlin: "Oh, it's way more like 80/20."
Nikki: "Hey, remember, you promised not to talk about it! Here come the guys."
Jude: [skating up] "Yo." [Wyatt and Jonesy walk up to the table.]
Wyatt: "Hey."
Jonesy: "Hi."
Caitlin: "Hey. I heard you were a class act yesterday at the arcade."
Jen: "There's nothing cooler than knowing when to pass on the glory."
Wyatt: "Yep. He made us proud."
Jonesy: "Thanks for not hoisting my dirty underwear onto the lemon, Jen."
Jen: "Yeah, well, uh–"
Jonesy: "Who wants tacos!"
Jude: "I'm in! Got any money?"
[Jonesy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of dirty underwear.]
Jude: "Dude! Is that your underwear?"
Caitlin: "Jonesy!"
Nikki: "Ew!"
Wyatt: "Gross."
Jude: "Pretty crusty."
Jonesy: "Thanks Jen."

Season 2 Scripts
Going UndergroundDeadbeat Poets SocietyCareer DayFish and Make UpAwake the Wyatt WithinUnhappy AnniversaryPillow TalkIn a Retail Wonderland...Midnight MadnessWelcome to the Darth SideThe New GuyMajor UnfaithfulnessWaiting to Ex-SaleLosing Your LemonThe HuntedLights OutA Ding from Down UnderThe Wedding DestroyersThe Lords of MalltownJonesy's Low MojoSmarten UpDirty WorkOver ExposedA Crime of FashionSpring FlingGirlie BoysSnow Job
Seasons: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4Hour-Long Specials
See also: Episode Guide

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