Life Slaver is the 80th episode of the series and the final episode of the third season. It aired on May 22, 2008, in Canada on Teletoon, and on December 11, 2008, in the United States on Cartoon Network.
After Caitlin saves Darth from a bully, Darth vows to never leave Caitlin's side until he's saved her life. While Caitlin deals with Darth's ineptitude as a bodyguard, Jen deals with a string of bad luck brought on by ignoring a chain email. Jonesy, Wyatt, Jude, and Wayne stay out of the girls' drama by watching old security videotapes that Jude discovered while crawling through the mall's vent system.
Jen and Caitlin are walking through the mall when they see a bully dangling Darth over a railing. They head over, and Caitlin flirts with the bully, causing him to turn towards her and drop Darth safely onto the floor. Darth runs off, scared but alive, and Caitlin changes her tactics towards the bully, telling him off for bullying Darth and for wearing socks and sandals before continuing on her way with Jen.
Later that day, Caitlin is at work when Darth comes by. The rest of Caitlin's friends have heard what happened, and they offer their commiseration, but Darth has something else in mind: because Caitlin saved his life, he is honor-bound to protect her until he returns the favor. Caitlin is naturally not thrilled about having Darth follow her around all the time, but Darth's mind is made up and he will not be swayed; until he saves her life, Darth will be Caitlin's bodyguard.
Soon, Darth is on duty. His first act as Caitlin's bodyguard is to accidentally scare away a hot guy that Caitlin was thinking of hitting on. His second act is to try and follow Caitlin into the ladies' room. This, however, is not something Caitlin will accept, and she makes Darth wait outside the door. While Darth is waiting there, his girlfriend stops by and invites him to come over for lunch with her. While Darth tells her that he'd love to, he unfortunately is required to wait on somebody inside the restroom. Because Julie is not privy to Darth's reasoning and Darth has not volunteered the complete explanation, she assumes that he's ditching her for another girl–an observation confirmed when Caitlin exits and joins up with him.
While in the bathroom, however, something else occurred. Caitlin's real reason for using the restroom was so that she could try and sneak away through a separate exit, but while she was in there Jonesy and Jude were in the adjacent bathroom. She and Jonesy have a conversation where Jonesy comes up with a way for Caitlin to get free while Jude crawls through the vents to meet her. Jonesy's solution is for Caitlin to pretend to be in danger so that Darth can "save" her, fulfilling his duties. Caitlin thinks that this is a good idea, and she accepts it just as Jude falls out of the vents with a box he found while in the vents in his arms.
The first thing that Caitlin does is fake a slip in spilled lemonade at work (an idea suggested by Wyatt). Unfortunately, what she hasn't planned on is that Julie has joined forces with Stanley to hurt Caitlin, and they use Stanley's ball gun to shoot Caitlin. This causes Caitlin to actually slip and fall–a fall which, notably, Darth doesn't prevent.
Caitlin's next fake danger involves her pulling out a chair and then sitting down where it wasn't. Once again, though, Julie and Stanley intervene, shooting the chair away before Darth can replace it and letting Caitlin's tush hit the ground. The next attempt is actually caused by Julie, though: she trips Caitlin while Caitlin is walking past the fountain, sending her sprawling into the water. There, Caitlin pretends to be drowning, but her fakery falls victim to Darth's recurring ear infection, lack of water wings, and lack of nose plugs. Angry, Caitlin gets up and stomps out of the fountain, having come to the conclusion that Darth is the worst Jedi ever.
This failure causes both Caitlin and Julie to recalculate their methods. A call to Jonesy convinces Caitlin that since Darth would only have been maimed by the fall and not killed, all she'll have to do is get Darth to engage in tedious tasks for her until Darth feels he's paid off the debt. Julie, meanwhile, realizes that since Darth to her eyes is falling for a damsel in distress, her only chance of winning him back will be to act like a distressed damsel as well.
Caitlin proceeds to explain her rationale to Darth, and soon sets him on a series of tedious tasks that include knitting socks for her, scrubbing the lemon, and organizing her makeup. Darth then proceeds to go above and beyond the call of duty, as he does all this and creates for her a MyFace profile. Caitlin is overjoyed at this last one, and she hugs Darth in gratitude–a hug that is witnessed by Julie, who was unable to attract Darth's attention no matter how much danger she faked being in. This angers Julie, and she declares war on Caitlin.
Caitlin is oblivious, though, as the Big Squeeze has become the hub of a bunch of cute guys who found out about her through MyFace. Caitlin thanks him for saving her love life, and Darth proclaims that his duty as a Jedi has been fulfilled. Unfortunately, Darth has fulfilled his duty just a little too late, as Julie arrives with bottles of hot sauce locked and loaded. Caitlin tries to talk down her adversary, but Julie fires upon her. Soon, Caitlin readies her lemons as well, and a battle of hot sauce and lemon juice commences. This battle is fought up the escalators against the attempts of Ron to stop it, and soon Caitlin and Julie are facing off against each other next to the same railing that Darth was originally dangling over. It's at this point that Darth decides to try and stop the fight, and he gets blasted by both lemon juice and hot sauce when he steps in between the adversaries. The liquids hit him in his eyes, and he is left blinded and stumbling around until he almost falls over the railing. Luckily for him, Julie sees him about to fall and drops her weapons in order to save him, which leads Darth to proclaim that his Jedi honor requires him to guard her until he returns the favor. Unlike Caitlin, Julie is perfectly happy to have Darth spending all his time with her, and the two happily walk off together.
Sub-Plot One: The Bad Luck Email
Jen is sitting by the Big Squeeze when she decides to check her email for news about the next captain of her school's snowboarding team. When she checks, though, she finds that her email is full of junk, including a chain email promising bad luck to anybody who does not forward it. Naturally, Jen isn't superstitious enough to believe it, and she deletes it without sending it on.
However, Jen's luck soon turns rotten, as she suffers many injuries at the mall that day. Perhaps the worst comes when she checks her email in Underground Video, though, as she finds out that a girl named Kathy Wutz has beaten her out for the position as snowboarding team captain. This convinces Jen that her luck is officially rotten, and she decides to find a way to get a hundred email addresses so that she can send the email and fix her luck.
Wayne is willing to help her out, as he has a customer list that contains forty emails. He lends her the list with the caveat that Jen up it to ninety emails, and Jen agrees. Jen spends the rest of the day gathering emails by hook or by crook, and she eventually gets a hundred and erases her bad luck. There is a side effect, though: the next day, when she opens her inbox, she finds that she's gotten twenty-three more chain emails, each threatening bad luck.
Sub-Plot Two: Jude's Videos
As it turns out, the box that Jude found in the vent is filled with old videotapes. He brings them to Underground Video to watch, and soon becomes absorbed, as they are old security tapes that contain footage of a kid pulling excellent pranks. Wayne, Jonesy, and Wyatt soon join, and they have a good time watching the tapes until they see one where the kid gets caught. The kid is bailed out of jail by his father, who looks exactly like Ron the Rent-a-Cop. When the guys see this, they conclude that based on the age of the tapes and the ages of the people on them, the kid pulling pranks must in fact be a younger Ron.
This knowledge leaves Jonesy shaken, as he's an inveterate prankster just like the kid in the videos. Jonesy is worried that he'll end up like Ron, and this worry only leaves him more depressed when he sees Ron's inability to stop the food fight between Caitlin and Julie. Nikki is able to fix his attitude, though, as she reminds him that he already attempted being a mall cop, and he was horrible at it. This cheers Jonesy up, as he realizes that he won't end up just like Ron.
Later, Jude is rooting around in his box of tapes when he finds one last video. This one is more recent, and shows Ron as he currently looks performing amazing dance moves and even flying to a song in the mall after it has closed for the day. This leaves the guys speechless and incapable of movie, as their minds are blown by what they witnessed.
Jen: Poor Darth. I can't believe what a jerk that guy was! Caitlin: I know! Some people think they can get away with murder. I mean, please. It's either cold enough for socks or warm enough for sandals. Never both.
Darth: Caitlin, I am here to inform you that, as you saved me from certain death, I am now your humble servant. Caitlin: Ah, it was no biggie. Darth: Oh, but it was. And as a valued Jedi knight, I am now at your service.
Caitlin: Darth, you cannot come into the washroom with me. Darth: But seventy percent of accidents in the home occur in the— Caitlin: “Stay!” (She slams the door.) Darth: Be careful in there!
Darth: Ahem, the sign on the door says women. Jude: You can't believe everything you read, little dude.
Caitlin: Worst Jedi ever!
Nikki: Hey, wasn't today your first day at Boots & Bags? Wayne: You got a job at Boots & Bags? (He laughs.) Jonesy: First shift doesn't start till one. Nikki: Yeah, it's four-thirty. Jonesy: What? Aw man! I am so fired!
Jonesy: Clever and devious. Finally, a role model I can aspire to. Wyatt: Uh oh. Looks like the rent-a-cop's gonna get him. Jude: Run, dude! Wayne: Busted! Jude: Who's the new dude? Jonesy: AAH! Did you see that? That was-was Ron the rent-a-cop! Wyatt: It can't be. Those tapes are, like, thirty years old. That would make Ron, like, eighty. It must be Ron's dad. Jonesy: But that would make that kid my-my hero. Ron the rent-a-cop? Jen: “ere's your new mailing list. Finally scored my hundred email addresses. Jonesy: But I'm just like him. I'm a total prankster. What if I end up like the rent-a-cop! Nikki: What's with him? Jen: I'm saved! Jonesy: I'm doomed.
Nikki: Oh, brother! You're not gonna turn into the rent-a-cop, okay? You already tried that, remember? You sucked and were heinously fired. Jonesy: Thanks, Nikki. You always know just what to say. Wyatt: You better now, girls? Caitlin: Much. Jen: Not so much. All those people I forwarded that email to have my address, and I got twenty-three new forwards! Jude: Better get that clipboard.
Nikki: Are you guys still watching those tapes? Ugh! Give it up, already!
Goof: In some scenes, Ron's eyes are blue instead of green.
Goof: Ron is seen being dragged out of mall jail by a man implied to be his father. However, the tapes seem to show that at the time he's 12-14 years of age, and his story about the Red Johnson Fire Truck in "How the Rent-A-Cop Stole Christmas" implies that his father went to war when he was between the ages of 7 and 10. Given that Ron said his father never came back, this raises several questions about Ron's past and the identity of the man who took him home.
It is possible that the man might have been a close relative who happened to bear a close resemblance to Ron, or that Ron lied about his dad never returning from war.
Jonesy's job: Working at Boots & Bags Reason for firing: He lost track of time, causing him to be several hours late for his first shift.
The cami that Caitlin wanted to get with her Khaki Card in "Date and Switch" is mentioned here as one that just came on sale. However, she's not seen carrying it in a Khaki Barn bag, which suggests that it's not exclusive to that store.