|First Appearance||Take This Job and Squeeze It|
Stuart Goldstein is usually seen walking around the mall. He usually gets hurt by someone or something. He is usually poorly treated (or in many cases ignored) by others. This is especially true in terms of how he is treated at the Big Squeeze, as Caitlin usually ignores him, although she has on occasion unintentionally hurt him. He has also been ignored at Stick It, although the most prominent instance was his fault; in "The Big Sickie", he mistook an obviously fake mannequin of Jude to be the real thing and spent the whole episode (a 3-4 hour timeframe) trying to get some service.
He somewhat resembles Penalty Box Customer; they both also act alike, as both he and the customer are nerdy and weak, traits which are made apparent by their shared physical appearance, combover hairstyle, and weak, soft voices. The point is driven home by the fact that both are often treated poorly by life, although the customer is more prone to injury, whereas he is more prone to being ignored or mistreated.
Mr. Goldstein's largest appearance was in "Deadbeat Poets Society". There, he was revealed to be the manager of the pharmacy. He told Jonesy to take the pharmaceutical oath, which basically states that no employee can reveal what medicines or purchases any customer has made. He then essentially left Jonesy to do his job. Jonesy proceeded to break the oath by telling his friends some of the embarrassing things that customers bought. Stuart Goldstein heard him on his way to the Big Squeeze and fired him on the spot for breaking the pharmaceutical oath. This was his only major appearance in the series' run.
- It's possible that he might be married, due to a scene he was in during the episode, "A Ding from Down Under."